holy crap i have a driver's license

as you may have guessed from the title, i have a driver's license, and holy crap is the proper reaction. It's somewhat normal in my fam to get this rite of passage a bit late, but at 26, I was definitely the longest holdout.

so yeah. I got the license in april, with my Grandma's borrowed camry, complete with a car seat in the back for my 4 year old cousin, several boxes of kleenex, and a case of bottled water.

then, without job or vehicle, i started borrowing one of previously mentioned boyfriend's spare cars (4 in total, 3 can be considered spares....i chose the 96 civic with the duct-taped turn signal, rejecting the 64 valient with a string attached to the brake just in case it sticks, and the non-existent offer of the 84 porsche)

the issue with this being that it's a manual....so out of need i learned to drive manual, also; how to pump gas, and eventually, how not to stall so much, and eventually to turn on my lights when starting from a lit parking area

a few weeks ago, i learned how to file an insurance claim after accidentally turning into a neighbor's parked car...yeah

and yesterday, i learned how to ask strangers for a jump after leaving my lights on; the final successful method being to silently hold up cables with a pathetic sad face, while mouthing the words "please can you help me" in timid desperation....I was rejected twice using the ask aloud method.

The guy who helped me was awesome. totally calm, and didn't mock my fumbling to get the hood open or spazzy stressed nature at all, just helped get the cables on and the car started, and told me that the reason i couldn't take my foot off the clutch without it rolling forward was because the care wasn't in neutral (aaand now i know how to idle the car)

I was so grateful i asked if i could give him a hug. he said sure, but seemed non-plussed by it. Then as i was getting ready to go he told me that he didn't really have a job, but sold drugs and had to drive around a lot, and offered to give me his number in case i needed a jump again. I said thanks, and took it, to honor the gesture.

yeah....that's all...i'm more confident in my driving ability than ever, but there are still some kinks to be worked out, but i'm learning, and meeting helpful drug dealers which is always a plus.

le sigh

so in a brilliant leap of faith, about a month ago I quite my job to move 80 miles and in with my boyfriend. Leaving behind my job, friends, financial security, and apartment has worked out less than tragic in all avenues except the financial/vocational ones (timing being excellent with the economy, and moving from a larger job pool to a bathtub) leaving me currently unemployed and unoccupied, save:

- job searching (craigslist don't fail me now!)
- taking junior college courses online (grad school prereqs....there is hope)
- trying not to compulsively snack myself out of my current wardrobe
- repressing urge to watch tv and mope
- compulsively exercising to stave off those sneaking depressive thoughts (I may feel utterly lame about myself and my employability, I'll be dammned if my behind does not look it's best)

......oh yes....and now blogging (is this a new low? should it be on a chart somewhere as a sign to know when you're circling the drain?)

also I miss my friends, very much. Really who wants to make new ones anyway? I already found ones I like and they are sarcastic, neurotic, beautifully thoughtful people. Trying to conjure up even viable placeholders may be rough.

so yeah, as titled: le sigh.

ok so...

I have a facebook account....yes it's true. I also have a myspace, which I've largely ignored as of late as has generally become the trend. But it's not time to rant about social networking, or what it means to be e-connected to so many folks you may or may not ever have an actual conversation with again in this lifetime; this is the moment and my chosen forum to rant about social responsibility and the hypocracy of my generation in the form of a group I was invited to join on facebook: Boycott the 2009 ING Bay to Breakers!.
Now I don't believe that facebook has the power to save the rain forest through obnoxious ads and a crude cartoon garden propagating you e-lawn with non native species and other creatures bastardized from princess peach's apparent visit to candyland, or that there really is an official six degrees of separation experiment, but I do believe in the dangers of misinformation, mob mentality, and a sense of entitlement.
I remember after last year's race (which I drank, walked, and peed in GG park, but did not pay a registration fee, like 40, 000 others) there was an article in an SF paper detailing the destruction and the cost of cleaning up after the event, bringing home the realization that it was the runners, those slightly annoyed individuals who are often detered by the large crowds and drunken partiers, that were footing the bill for our good time. What I felt then was guilt, and the sinking suspiscion that with a tightening city budget these shenanigans wouldn't weather the storm. It was then I made a mental note to pay the registration fee this year out of a sense of social responsibility even if I never made it to the starting line...or the finish.
When I received this 'invite' I wasn't really surprised that the city and the race organizers were cracking down on the debauchery (as patterned with the Castro Halloween party) since last year they had instituted a turnaround of all late (non-running) participants at the end of GG park making for a giant clusterfuck of colliding crowds and an extended event rather than the steady dissipation which naturally occurs as slow moving groups reach Ocean Beach. It seemed self serving and socially comotose, if not all together retarded to call to action former fratties to defend their right to trash the city by boycotting registration for a race their crowd most likely didn't register for in the first place. What kind of threat is that?
I do think that the initial zero tolerance policies rumored would be a little harsh, and naked has never really been condoned, but also never actively persecuted before. Though actions of the blatantly publicly drunk (mainly public urination.....and heaven forbid, defecation) have gotten out of hand, and the irresponsibly in the disposal of floats is a huge issue. Through working with the SF board of supervisors and the race organizers and consolidating various groups of mini outrage Citizens for the Preservation of Bay2Breakers claims to have helped negotiated a compromise in new regulations as posted through the B2B site. Here it is stated that regular citywide laws regarding public drunkenness will be enforced (nothing overt, and no glass bottles or kegs) and floats must be registered, non motorized, and all those pushing them must also be registered. This seems relatively reasonable to me, though Citizens is still calling for a suspension of registration until they work out further goals, namely a tiered fee for non-running (potentially just drinking and partying) participants, or another way for them to help foot the clean up bill fee through mid level participant souvenirs (non-number identifiers, showing they belong on the race course).
After some reading I'm now more informed and respect the efforts, views and purpose of Citizens. Though I feel less than assured that all of their facebook members actually page through and read or intend to embody the tenants of their position statement my most most optimistic hope is that they will, that this generation has grown beyond a simple wish to stick it to the man however possible, and will now organize to take responsibility for their good time. I mean for crying out loud this is a liberal, Obama loving city, and what greater starting point for a call to action is there than to simply be responisble for your own.
...did I mention that I was writing this in order to put off writing a paper....oh the hipocracy ;)